You are not supposed to win

If we work hard, go to the right school, and eat the right breakfast. We will win.

But life is unfair. We don’t live in a meritocracy.

So when our efforts exceed the perceived value, or expected returns. How do we keep going? Or keep our kids engaged?

When Rocky took the fight with World Champion, Apollo Creed, he was a disillusioned boxing bum. He took the fight out of pure desperation. Nobody gave him a chance of winning.

The night before the fight it all changed for Rocky. In realising that he was not supposed to win. Rocky changed the game he was playing.

He created his own definition of success. Go the distance with Apollo Creed. Achieve something no one else had achieved.

Rocky lost his fight but in doing so gained his self-respect.

Here are the steps in case you missed them:

Define your success: Do something that nobody else thinks I can do.

Now own it. Make it yours. What would success look like?

Define your measure of success: Go the distance with Apollo Creed.

Be clear on the change you seek: In going the distance I will gain self-belief.

Does the measure bring the change you seek? I’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

(Edit until successful.)

To the outside world, Rocky was a failure. But 24 hours before the world changed its mind. He knew he’d won.

“Son — you are not supposed to win. You were never supposed to win. When you understand that you understand everything. You’re not supposed to win. So win everything.” Lyric from the album Upward by Ty.